I want to talk about something that doesn’t always show up in your calendar, but impacts every goal you’re chasing: alignment.

Lately, I’ve been wrestling with this idea of alignment versus escape. And not in some big dramatic way. I’m talking about the subtle stuff. The sneaky habits that look productive on the surface but quietly pull you away from the person you’re trying to become.

The Subtle Lie of Productive Distraction

For me? It was chess.

Sounds harmless, right? I thought so too. But I started noticing a profound shift. I wasn’t sleeping well. I missed my 4:50 am wake-ups. I stopped showing up with full presence in the morning. I was still “doing things”—training, time-blocking, appointments—but I wasn’t in it. I wasn’t aligned with my core values and goals.

Instead of leaning back into discipline, I escaped. I found myself playing chess… a lot. Not for growth. Not for strategy. But for the little dopamine hits. The temporary sense of control. It was a distraction that looked like mental stimulation, but it was really avoidance.

What was I truly avoiding?

The weight of new fatherhood. The pressure to perform in my business. The silent overwhelm I didn’t take time to process.

Why We Escape: Misalignment, Not Laziness

Here’s the powerful truth I realized:

We don’t escape because we’re lazy. We escape because we’re misaligned.

Your particular escape might be food, scrolling your phone, binge-watching, or even, ironically, overworking. But the real danger isn’t the escape itself. It’s that these habits pull you quietly off course. And no one calls you out. In fact, people might even praise you for staying “productive” or “busy.”

But you know. Deep down, you know you are drifting from your intended trajectory.

The Investment in Accountability

That quiet knowing is why I invest heavily in accountability. I’ve spent close to $15,000 this year on coaching and mentorship. Not because I need someone to motivate me, but because I need someone to call me back to who I said I wanted to be. As a father. A husband. A leader.

If I’m not aligned, I’m not fully present. Not with Jen. Not with Jordan. Not in business. Presence is the currency of a meaningful life, and distraction devalues it immediately.

Your Realignment Ritual

So here’s the daily question I’ve been asking myself to maintain focus:

Is this choice bringing me closer to the man I want to be, or pulling me further away?

When I catch myself slipping, I go back to what I now call my “realignment ritual.”

Nothing fancy. It just works:

  • Stillness: Two minutes of closed-eye stillness.
  • Breathwork: Simple, deep breaths to calm the nervous system.
  • Journal Prompt: A quick check-in: “What am I avoiding right now?” or “What really matters today?”
  • Physical Shift: 10 push-ups, stretching, or simply standing up.

This ritual interrupts the drift. Because most of the time, alignment doesn’t break all at once—it slips through small, unintentional decisions.

So this is your reminder:

You don’t need permission to reset. You don’t need to feel guilty for drifting. You just need to notice and return. Quickly. Quietly. Daily.

And if this hit home for you, I want to challenge you:

Take 15 minutes today. Sit in silence. Audit your escapes. Ask what you’re really avoiding. And decide who you want to be this week, not just what you want to do.

Let’s stop escaping. Let’s start showing up with intention and reclaim our focus